The Finale!

 Thanks for all the comments on Chapter 3 as you indulge me with my ongoing tale of Harry The Dog Hater and Detective Olivieri. One of the comments asked if I was having fun writing this mostly true tale. Yes, I am having fun at my friend's expense, but having to meet the expectations of the readers, the deadlines from my publisher and keeping the creativity at a high level is very stressful! I am up to a two pack a day smoking habit and keep one of my many bottles of bourbon close at hand at all times!

But alas, you do not want to hear about my woes, you just want more tales, so without further ado, here are the last two chapters of my tale.

=======================================================================

After being released by her BFB (best friend Barbie) Detective Olivieri called into the station reporting Harry's hideout. Colibaba was on his way there now to gather all the evidence. There was a treasure trove of down there. Sketches, video tapes, audio tapes, pictures..... After spending two days in that godforsaken hell hole, she knew everything she needed to know, and she was pissed! 6 months!, she thought to herself. How did I not realize it?!?! There was enough evidence down there to lock those bastards up for the rest of their lives. But what she did not tell anyone is that she kept the most crucial piece of evidence of all. A map. Following the detailed map, she was off to a remote cabin in the woods of northern Minnesota.

Meanwhile, Dino sat in his living room with an ice pack on his lap Damn, that woman has a hell of a kick, she should try out for the Vikings or perhaps a winning team like the Lions he thought to himself. Where did she speed off to in such a hurry? I cannot believe that she found Harry's hideout. She's ruined everything! An hour later the swelling and pain was unbearable. He hobbled to their run-down jeep and drove himself to the hospital.

"I've finally got it!" Colibaba exclaimed. "Got what?" Chief Roche asks. "The evidence we need to lock away The Hater for life!" "They videotaped everything, every attack, every planning session, I've got detailed notes on all the attacks dating back to when the attacks first started happening 6 months ago" "But Chief, you are not going to believe this next part........ Dino is the mastermind, not Harry!

Speaking of Harry....

With Detective Olivieri locked away in the fallout shelter for the past two days Harry The Dog Hater was free to roam the city terrorizing the dogs of Fargo. He did not have to worry about the other officers in the force. Between watching hockey and training for his marathons Chief Roche was never around and Colibaba is so busy taking selfies he is oblivious of everything else around him. Life was good for The Hater and he was planning his biggest atrocity of all. 

June bugs splattered against the windshield as Detective Olivieri speed through the forested countryside. She turned left down the overgrown two track lane and skidded to a stop in front of an old rustic cabin. Jumping from her squad car she ran up to the door and kicked it open. 

There, chained to a bed was her loving husband, Dino! He was barely conscious and mumbling. Lisa kneeled down beside the bed, "Dino, honey, I am here, everything is going to be all right." Dino kept mumbling but she could not understand him, so she leaned down a little closer. "Onid", he said, "Onid". "I know honey, I figured it all out when I was locked in the fallout shelter". "Your evil twin brother Onid kidnapped you and locked you in this cabin". "I can't believe I did not figure it out sooner!"

"Beer", Dino mumbled. Lisa, always prepared, grabbed her emergency beer from her purse, opened it up, pressed it to his lips and let the liquid gold pour down his throat. Within seconds you could see the color and strength return to Dino's face. By the time half of the beer was gone Dino was standing up. He grabbed the chains around his legs and broke them right off. You see, beer is to Dino as spinach is to Popeye, giving him super strength!

She hesitantly asked, "How long have you been gone?" Dino replied, "6 months to the day". Detective Olivieri could not help but do a mental calculation of the last time she and Dino got frisky, 6 months, 3 days, a sigh of relief escaped her lips. She was ever so glad that his birthday is next week and not last week!

Driving back to Fargo, Lisa filled Dino in on the past 6 months. "Onid not only kidnapped you, but he put Harry in a hypnotic state forcing him to terrorize dogs!" "Where is Harry now?", Dino asked. "No one knows, he is still out there acting on Onid's spell, hopefully we can find him soon!"

Chapter 5

Harry, wearing a new ugly straw hat, stood on the sidewalk of the crowded street. I can't believe I forgot my hat in the fallout shelter and had to buy this new one.  Waiting for the pet parade to begin, everything was set, he was going to make this parade one that no one would ever forget. He had strategically set up squirrel cages along the parade route and planned to release all the squirrels at once using the remote control in his pocket at just the precise moment to create maximum chaos. The entire town was in attendance. Not only were the dogs that were going to be in the parade all of the attendees brought their dogs as well. 5 more minutes, this is going to be epic, he thought to himself. 

Detective Olivieri and Dino, having just arrived back in Fargo, were scanning the busy street looking for The Hater. "According to the schematics I found in the fallout shelter, he should be around here". "I don't see him!", Dino replied, "We have to find him, the parade is about to start!". Just then Olivieri sees an ugly straw hat walking above the crowd. Being a lanky sort of fellow Harry did not realize his hat made him stand out above the crowd. "Over there!" Olivieri shouted and started sprinting across the street hurdling dogs on leashes, dogs in strollers, dogs in wagons. People started screaming and dogs barking.

Harry turned at the commotion and saw Olivieri bearing down on him. He started running down the street, his long legs quickly gaining distance between him and Olivieri. He smiled inwardly, She'll never catch me! Next thing he knew he was tumbling on the ground having tripped over a leash. He landed in a puppy pen that had been set up on the corner to sell puppies. Confused and dazed Harry struggled to get to his feet as the puppies attacked him, but there was too many of them, he could not get up! All of a sudden, a strange calm overcame him. The puppies were not attacking him after all, they were licking him! Harry started giggling like a little girl as the puppies continued their licking assault. Puppy love had broken the spell and transformed Harry The Dog Hater into Harry The Dog Lover!

Olivieri and Dino stood next to the pen watching the transformation and knew the threat was over. The parade continued on, no squirrels were released, it was the best pet parade Fargo had ever seen!

The next day, Onid woke up in the hospital to find one arm handcuffed to his bedrail. He was still in a lot of pain. He opened his eyes to see his twin brother standing in front of him. They had been opposites since birth. Good/evil, good looking/hideous. Total opposites that is why their mother had even named them opposite, Dino/Onid. Oh, how Onid despised his brother.  

At least the swelling has gone down he thought. He looked under the covers to see and shouted, "Where are they"!?!? "They had to take them", Dino said. "You won't be needing them where you are going anyways".

So ends the tale of Harry The Dog Hater. Since Harry was under a spell and not responsible for his own actions, no charges were filed against him. He and his lovely wife Vicki opened a dog shelter where Harry spends his days on his back, giggling like a little girl getting licked by puppies to his hearts content. 

Dino continues to drink his beer, each can bringing strength and masculinity beyond compare. It is rumored that his masculinity is so strong that it reverses menopause. Detective Olivieri has constant smile on her face and was recently promoted to chief. 

Colibaba quit the force and opened at photography studio aptly named "Selfies", he is his own best customer. His beautiful wife continues to serve as dispatcher for the department. 

Barbie and her hunkly husband continue to roam from distillery to distillery across the country. She is constantly jacked up on one too many lattes and continues to dote husband and two dogs.

What happened to Chief Roche you ask? No one knows, the last anyone saw of them was them driving down the road in a 2025 Newmar Bay Star Class A motor home. Witnesses say Leslie was dressed all in black and had a puppy on her lap.