Chapter 3

It has been months since I posted Chapter 2 of this tale so you might want to go back and read it and perhaps Chapter 1 again. The suspense of what happens next must have been killing most of you as I have been receiving countless cards, letters, texts and fan mail asking when the next chapter will be coming out. Well, here it is! ....Don't worry readers, there are only two chapters left before this story is put to bed. But you will not want to miss them as each chapter is filled with unexpected plot twists that will leave you on the edge of your seat wanting more! 

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Detective Olivieri awoke laying on the garage floor amongst the garbage. Where am I? How long had I been out? As she looks around it all comes back to her; the bottle caps at the crime scenes, the bottle cap shooting guns. Somehow The Hater has lured Dino into his life of crime. The promise of free beer probably, the weak-minded are always susceptible.

But the real question is what does she do? Now that she knows her own husband, the man that she mostly loves and sometimes hates has become part of an organized terror plot against dogs in their community. Without thinking it fully through she picks up the packaging from the bottle cap guns and burns them in the fireplace.  

She has to find Dino, find out what's going on, talk some sense into him. She rushes through the house calling his name but receives no answer. Same thing in the garage. The fallout shelter she thinks. That is where he has to be. Several years ago, Dino had insisted that they install an underground fallout shelter for the impending zombie apocalypse. Olivieri had been against it but finally relented when Dino just would not let it go. 

She opened the trap door leading to the underground shelter and was immediately taken aback by the stench that wafted up. She cautiously went down the ladder. What the heck? Is someone living down here? She looks around to see a sleeping bag so stained that it looked like a homeless man had been sleeping it for year, empty bags of chips and the ugliest straw hat ever known to man. Then it hits her, there is only one person that would wear a hat that ugly; The Hater! He has been living within feet of her house while she, herself, has been searching for him throughout the community, he has been living right under her feet....literally, under her feet!

I've got to call this in. She reaches for her phone. No service down here. As she turns to climb up the stairs, the trap door suddenly slams shut, everything goes black, and she hears the distinct sound of the latch being thrown on the door.

Across town Chief Roche is quickly packing for an upcoming marathon. "I'll only be gone for the weekend he tells his wife Leslie who is preparing and labeling his meals for the weekend. "I've got all your clothes ready", she says, "I even ironed your socks and underwear. I used the ultrasoft fabric softener so you will not have any chaffing". Roche thinks back to his last marathon. He had to drop out after only a few miles because Leslie had used too much starch spray while ironing his underwear. 

Leslie looks out the window to see the neighbor's puppy in a tangled chain, its food and water just out of its reach. Leslie is the opposite of a dog hater; she is a dog lover. She cannot help but feel sorry for the poor little guy chained to this house all day with no one paying any attention to it.  She has plans, not necessarily legal plans, but she had to save that puppy. You see, she has been practicing her ninja moves and plans on ninja'ing over there after dark. Tonight, I am going to save that puppy.

After two days, Dino has run out of beer and chips and wonders where his wife is. Wiping his orange Cheeto stained hands on his wife beater t-shirt, he picks up the phone and calls her BFF Barbie. Just as Barbie answers Dino lets out a belch that she could smell on the other end of the phone. "Where's my wife? I have not seen her in two 30 packs." Dino asks. Barbie, knowing how much Dino drinks, knows "Two-thirty packs" means two days. 

"I'll be right over!", she says as she hangs up the phone. Dino, thinking she is coming over to spend some quality time with him has to act quickly. "I've got clean myself up!" With no time for a shower and all his clothes dirty, he does the only thing he can think of. Taking off his wifebeater, shakes it, turns it inside out and puts it back on. Good as new he thinks to himself. 

Barbie arrives skidding in the driveway minutes later. "When is the last time you saw her?" she asks Dino upon getting out of her car. "Seen who?" he asks. "Your wife, you orange stained neanderthal!". It was then that Barbie hears banging coming from trap door on the fallout shelter. Unlatching and pulling open the door, both Barbie and Dino are bewildered to see Detective Olivieri staring back at them wearing a ridiculous straw hat! She jumps out of the shelter, kicks Dino in the groin and runs to her squad car taking off down the driveway, gravel and dirt flying everywhere. "I wonder what's got her underwear in a bundle?" he asks as he limps back into the house for an ice packet.

The following morning Leslie is just waking up with she hears the door open and Chief Roche enters the house. "I thought you were gone for the weekend", Leslie inquires. "Pulled a hammy in first hundred yards and had to drop out, besides that, The Hater has struck again and kidnapped the neighbor's dog". "Can you believe it? I leave for one night and he strikes right next door!" "Colibaba is reviewing the footage from their security camera right now"

Just then his phone rings. Leslie can only hear half of the conversation as Roche asks, "Colibaba, what do you have from the footage?". After a brief conversation Roche hangs up the phone and turns to Leslie. "Did you see or hear anything last night?", he asks. "No dear, why?". "Well, apparently The Hater has an accomplice as the security footage shows a small-framed figure dressed all in black swinging in from the trees, doing a roll on the ground, kidnapping the puppy and vaulting the fence with said puppy in less than 10 seconds". "There is no way The Hater could have done that himself; he cannot even tie his own shoes without falling over", "I am going into the station to see the footage myself" he says as he leaves the bedroom and heads out the door. 

Leslie listens to her husband drive away before she tosses the covers aside to reveal that she, is entirely dressed in black with a puppy curled up at her feet, sound asleep.....

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That concludes Chapter 3 of this saga. Only two more chapters left in this story with so many unanswered questions. Will Leslie get caught for stealing the neighbor's dog? Will The Hater strike again? And where was Detective Olivieri speeding off to in such a hurry?!!!!!

Stay tuned my friends, those answers and many more will come in the following episodes! But first, some photograpic evidence that these tales are not entirely tales, they are inspired by true events. Those of you who know the characters know exactly how close to the truth they really are!

First up is The Hater and the ugliest straw hat known to man. 

Then there is the apocalypse fallout shelter....

And last, but not least, is Leslie in full ninja mode!